Despite Budge trying to steal the limelight as pupils filed into the Cathedral this morning, Rev Child delivered a poetic assembly to inspire us all on a Friday morning…

The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of deep darkness a light has dawned.

For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counsellor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Of the greatness of his government and peace there will be no end. He will reign on David’s throne and over his kingdom, establishing and upholding it with justice and righteousness from that time on and forever. The zeal of the LORD Almighty will accomplish this.

That reading from Isaiah 9 is one of the hopeful readings of the Christmas season. It talks about gloom turning to light; about a special person being born who will come and make a difference; about the world finally being fair and full of goodness. It’s one of the readings you’ll hear if you come along to this year’s Carol Service. However today Isaiah 9 is setting the scene for something more light-hearted; I want to get into the spirit of Christmas through the limericks you’ve been writing. Here’s a good one to get us started:

There once was a Chaplain at school
Who found Yuletide limericks cool
So he neatly devised
A specialist prize
For the best lim’rick writer in school!

Some of your limericks nicely summed up the atmosphere of Christmas, and perhaps the things you’re looking forward to, like this one:

The Christmas tree is all aglow,
With ornaments that sparkle and show.
The presents are wrapped,
And the children are apt
To be up early and ready to go.

And although the next one isn’t technically a limerick, I think it’s a lovely poem:

One little star,
on top of the tree,
Two little presents
underneath for me.
Three silver ropes
twisted around the tree,
Coloured lights
shining prettily.
Five shining angels
flowing silvery,
Oh what a sight to see!

I should say that not all the limericks were quite as positive and wholesome, including the very first one I received, which is somehow not completely in the spirit of Christmas:

There was a large man named Lee.
Who was climbing his Christmas tree.
He got to the top.
But then suffered a drop.
And now he's in A&E.

Or this one:

There once was a man named St Nick,
Who scoffed lots of chocolates quite quick.
He burped long and loud
And felt very proud
But then he went home feeling sick.

This was Writer’s Bloc having a go at limericks – which included this unexpectedly mournful poem:

Christmas came round once again;
All the snowflakes we used for snowmen.
But one lonely flake
Was alone with heartache
And was picked up and fed to a hen.

Beautiful – but strangely desolate…

Then there were the limericks inspired by members of staff – for instance:

There once was a teacher named Bagchi,
Who enjoys teaching Latin words to me.
But once in the year,
And with great Christmas cheer,
He is known as old Santa Bagchi.

Of course someone was going to write one about Mr Griffiths:

Mr Griffiths, a noble headteacher
Was mostly a serious creature
Till one Christmas he shouted,
“I am merry, don’t doubt it!”
And his dancing became quite a feature.

And then there was this one:

There once was a teacher called Curtis
Who decided to ruin Christmas in earnest
He cut down the lights
And started a fight
His children said this Christmas was the worstest!

I just can’t imagine that really happening…

Let’s get back to the positive stuff. I enjoyed this inspiring poem, which is a sort of extended limerick:

We all know Christmas is near
So we entered the Cathedral here
Sitting proudly next to our peer
Everyone singing loud and clear
We let go of our fear
Shedding no tears
Not feeling like our voice is small or mere
We started to gather our gear
So get ready because we might see some reindeer
Let’s get excited for Christmas this year!

On Wednesday the Prefects treated us to a nativity play, and I liked this one which is entitled ‘Nativity Play in a Limerick’:

An angel gives Mary some news.
The new king gives Herod the blues.
Shepherds kneel on the floor,
The wise men adore,
Jesus sleeps, and the cow simply moos.

Thank you to everyone who took the time to send in a limerick – it was truly entertaining reading them, and I’m sorry that there were too many to read them all out in our limited assembly time. But there is an edible Christmas gift for everyone who contributed – please go to the prefect with the chocolate just outside cathedral afterwards. Thanks to:

Billy Treavett; Oscar Wedge; Alex Adkins; Immy James; Toby Hankinson; Siya Patel; Jazlyn Lee; Mr Treavett; Abbie Wilgrass; Mohid Sandhu; Grace Adlam; Jamie Kidd; Joseph Ladbrooke; Hayden Nundy; Rowan Kidd; Edward Tickner; Oren Butler; Oscar Lawrence; Beth Stockham; Fred Hilton Mitzman; Ernie Howes; Merlin Perrow; Mrs Curtis

To finish, a poem that reminds us that at the centre of Christmas is the good news of God’s light coming to make a difference in a dark and difficult world – tidings of comfort and joy. This is a limerick based on Isaiah chapter 9.

The people have seen a great light;
The darkness has now become bright.
For a child is born
God takes on human form
And it means that we’ll all be alright.