Jonathan Pearson, the school’s Development Director and ON offers us his perspective on friendship and becoming an ON.



"If you have never heard of the music duo ‘Simon and Garfunkel’, you have now!

Two college buddies, singer-songwriter Paul Simon was the diminutive, rotund one playing guitar, and Art (short for Arthur) Garfunkel was lanky and angular, but had a pure, angelic voice. Huge in the 1960s, they have been inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, have nine Grammys to their name and their singles have sold over 100m worldwide. Their most iconic song is Bridge Over Troubled Water, a song that quite literally moves grown men to tears – or at least it does this grown man.

However, it is another of their songs I intend to focus on, a record that sold 22m copies, called Sound of Silence. It has the thought-provoking opening line: “Hello darkness, my old friend”. Throughout all my adult life, I believed this song to reflect dark thoughts about human mortality, but the real meaning, discovered only recently, is infinitely more profound and relates to the astonishing power of friendship, which is the theme of my address today.

Our story began when Art Garfunkel enrolled in Columbia University, where he met a student named Sandy Greenberg, and they immediately became best friends. Soon afterwards, Sandy was struck by tragedy. His vision became blurry, and he received the devastating news that severe glaucoma was destroying his optic nerves. The young man with such a bright future would soon be completely blind. Sandy was devastated and fell into a deep depression. He gave up college and cut all contact with peers.

One day, his friend Art showed up at his front door and convinced Sandy to give college another go, promising that he would be right by Sandy’s side to make sure he didn’t fall - literally or figuratively.

Art kept his promise, faithfully escorting Sandy around campus and effectively serving as his eyes. It was important to Art that Sandy should never feel alone. Art actually started calling himself “Darkness” to demonstrate his empathy with his friend. He’d say things like, “Darkness is going to read to you now.” That opening line of the Simon and Garfunkel hit Sound of Silence echoes the way Sandy always greeted Art: “Hello Darkness, my old friend”.

One day, Art was guiding Sandy through crowded Grand Central Station when he suddenly said he had to go, leaving his friend alone and petrified. Sandy stumbled and after a couple of hellish hours, finally got on the right subway train. On exiting the station, Sandy bumped into his trusty friend Art who had surreptitiously followed him the whole way home, secretly ensuring his safety. Art was giving him the priceless gift of independence. Sandy later said, “That moment was the spark that caused me to live a completely different life, without fear, without doubt. For that I am tremendously grateful to my friend.”

Sandy graduated from Columbia, secured degrees at Harvard and Oxford, becoming a successful entrepreneur and philanthropist. He and Art remain friends to this day.

All this got me reflecting on the nature of deep, life-long friendship. Creating such friendships is at the heart of all we do in the school’s Development Office, which I lead. When you leave school, you will become an ON for life, from 18 to over 100. I look forward to welcoming each of you one day into the ON community.

In my experience, whilst every ON has their particular affiliation with the school, there are two common threads that all ONs share. The first relates to an abiding affection for the school site and this Cathedral. Many places hold a special significance to a memorable event. The second relates to strong relationships maintained throughout adulthood with fellow ONs, particularly to members of their own year group.

Just take a moment to look at those you are sitting or standing next to right now…. Although this may be far from your minds with Period One of the day looming, it could be that your next door neighbour today is someone you will go on holiday with; or perhaps someone you will live with for a time; or maybe they are those trusted friends you can phone in times of need at two o’clock in the morning; or maybe one will be your best man or maid of honour at your wedding. As far-fetched as these may seem to you now, all of those scenarios have genuinely occurred during my lifetime with those I sat next to in Cathedral, or in class or in tutorial or played sport with in the 1980s. I will add one more: you might end up marrying the person you’re right next to now; there are a growing number of ONs who have tied the knot in recent years. To save you squirming nervously in your seats, don’t worry, I‘ll move on!

So, my recommendation is to treasure your friendships at school. They will last you a lifetime. My oldest friend, Scott, whom I knew at Norwich School and Town Close beforehand is still a great friend 50 years on. I particularly stress this to those leaving school this summer. Every day from now on is precious, as you cultivate special friendships and form memories to cherish during your final weeks here. Never again will you spend so much time with your school friends as you do now. Those friendships will only blossom and deepen in years to come. The work done by my colleagues and I in the school’s Development Office helps ONs stay in touch, to meet up and to remain close to the school and to each other. Who knows, we might even get a wedding invitation from you one day!

At the start of this assembly, I mentioned Simon and Garfunkel’s iconic song, Bridge over Troubled Water. It has sold over 25 million copies, spending seventeen weeks in the UK top 40 in 1970. It has a haunting melody, breathtaking delivery and poignant lyrics, as Art Garfunkel articulates how loving friendship is like a metaphorical bridge that carries you both over life’s troubled waters to find comfort in calmer pastures together.

I invite you to seek out the original version, but in the meantime, I now ask Hal Major, Chester Dimoglou and Dylan Parsons with Mr Stamp on piano, to give you their rendition. Hankies at the ready, Upper Sixth. 

So, courtesy of Simon and Garfunkel, I give you Bridge Over Troubled Water."

Following this was a wonderful rendition of Bridge Over Troubled Water from Upper 6 pupils, Hal Major, Chester Dimoglou and Dylan Parsons.