Senior School

On Wednesday 19 November, Ben Griffiths gives an assembly on what International Men's Day means and why it is important. International Men’s day celebrates the positive value men bring to the world, to their families, their friendships, and their communities. Its goal is to highlight positive male role models and to raise awareness of men’s wellbeing. In today’s society, you don’t have to look far to find someone somewhere speaking about men and masculinity. Countless articles tv shows and films speak of toxic masculinity, the so-called “war on men”, the manosphere, and problematic influencers. Amid all these loud debates, it’s easy to forget that those struggling are real people, real boys and men, trying to make sense of who they’re supposed to be. It’s hardly surprising that so many boys and young men feel disillusioned, disempowered, and disconnected from society. Many boys and men find it difficult to seek help for mental health concerns, and much of this comes from the pressure within society on men to bottle things up, and deal with hardship with a stiff upper lip. There’s so much pressure on what it means to ‘be a man,’ and vulnerability rarely fits that mould. International Men’s Day hopes to break this cycle by championing positive male role models. But where do we look for these? On social media we can find numerous examples of healthy masculinity — from musician Harry Styles, who speaks openly about the pressures men face and challenges gender stereotypes, to South African Rugby-Player Siya Kolisi, who, as well as being a monstrous flanker, campaigns against gender-based violence. It is heartening to see that there are increasing amounts of men who are willing to honestly share their struggles with what it means to be a man. But ultimately, I think we can look much closer to home. Male role models are all around us — teachers, fathers, brothers, uncles, friends. People who show up, listen and take responsibility. The men who make a difference through their kindness, their patience, and their integrity. For me, a positive role model does not half to be a leader, but simply a person who can admit when they’re wrong, treat others with respect, and who lifts people up, not put them down. These are the kinds of men we need more of, not superheroes, but guys who make the world around them a little better. And I think that’s what International Men’s Day should remind us, that masculinity isn’t one thing. There isn’t a single “right” way to be a man. A man who is strong and quiet is no less masculine than one who is caring and confident. Masculinity can mean courage, creativity, empathy, humour, determination, vulnerability and all these traits deserve to be celebrated. But celebrating masculinity in all its forms also means taking responsibility for the kind of world we hope to create. Men have an important role to play in shaping a fairer and safer society for everyone. If we don’t want to be part of the problem, we must be part of the solution. That means standing up against misogyny, violence, and discrimination. It means challenging harmful attitudes, not with anger or aggression, but with compassion and honesty. And it’s worth remembering that a fairer society benefits men too. When we move beyond gender stereotypes and reject harmful expectations, we all gain the freedom to live as our authentic selves. At this point, I’d like to invite Lily Minns to share some details about the upcoming Reclaim the Night Vigil: Lily Minns - "Reclaim the Night is an annual event that raises awareness of gender-based violence and pays tribute to its victims. It also advocates for the safety of women and girls walking at night. The evening begins with a walk from Horsefair House to the main school site — a journey that many girls make in the dark at this time of year. Afterwards, there will be hot chocolate and a sharing of poetry, speeches, and spoken-word performances in the Fourth Form playground. The event is open to everyone and beings at 4:15 on Tuesday the 25 of November. There will also be a sign-making workshop this Thursday at lunchtime in R1 for anyone who’d like to get involved, and if you would like to share any poetry, speeches or spoken word performances, then please get in touch with myself or Ben Griffiths." Thank you, Lily. I really encourage you all to consider attending Reclaim the Night. Particularly as boys and young men, we have a responsibility to help create a more equal society and to be part of a change for good. And this change starts with all of us—at school, at home, and in our everyday lives. By making it normal to call out harmful jokes instead of making them, by encouraging each other to seek support without fear of ridicule, and by standing in solidarity with girls and young women at events like Reclaim the Night and beyond, we can work together to create a safer, fairer, better world for all. Happy International Men’s Day.